I am an Isolation Maven: Circling with My Shadow

I have just returned from 3 days of communing and learning and journeying with 16 other women as we dug deep into our shadow. Circling in sisterhood is something I never did until 3 years ago and it has changed my life. When I commune in circle with other women weather it is for business or personal reasons I give myself the permission to celebrate myself and get the support to dig deep and connect with my soul and my magic as a women.

In western society we have not allowed ourselves the space or time to do this. The pressures of modern thought and expectations devalue the idea of women ceremonies and gatherings so that we run in the circle of nurturing others and giving to others and earning for the collective. We rarely make time to gather and make sacred space to share ourselves openly and without fear of judgement. The idea that we need to give ourselves permission to do something that nurtures ourselves inside and out is part of our shadow speaking. For many of us the shadow self has been ignored and stuffed so far inside us we don't even know she exists, and when this is the case that is where she takes the reigns and leaves you spinning.

Our shadow is the piece of our subconscious that is there to keep us safe but can also inhibit our life if allowed to be neglected or given permission to take up all the space within our subconscious mind.
This journey of coming face to face with our shadow can crack us open and make us feel raw but if we recognize her, let her known she is seen and heard we can then move forward with her by our side but not in the driver seat.
This work is crucial if you are feeling stuck, if you seem to be going in circles instead of spiraling up. This work can catapult you forward.

Last week I came face to face with her.

My shadow is the Isolation Maven.
She is quiet and her cloak helps me from being exposed.
She has told me for years not to stand out for if I do I could get hurt.
She has told me to not let others see all of me, my fire, my silly playful nature, she told me my vulnerability will show as weakness.
She says that my ideas are too big and others will judge or hurt me.

She has made my inner sanctuary so comfortable and easy that the idea of coming out of my shell is like stepping myself naked on to a public stage BUT she has kept me small and my skin is crawling, my skin needs to shed and my ideas need to be seen and heard.
She has told me that abundance comes from hard work but that work should not rock the boat for it might all go away. Risk is too risky.
She has told me prosperity equals greed.
She has said you have just enough to get by and that is noble.

All of that is just her way of keeping the status quo because for her change is scary.
The unknown for her is the dark abyss.
I now see her but can know longer let her hold the reigns.